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1. Get to know yourself
Before start looking for love you must first know yourself in depth. It is very important that you know where you come from,
who you are and where you are heading. If you do not know yourself, which are your tastes and preferences and if you are
unaware of your dreams, it is very unlikely that you can find a person that comes along with you in this wonderful journey called
life. I suggest you to take some notes. Read the next checking list and think about each question as much time as you might need
to. Write your answers to each and every one of the questions and keep them in a place that only you know. I recommend that at
least every six months you read again your answers or that you do it every time you need to remember who you are.
Likewise, I ask you to not move forward to the secret number 2 until you have not completed this first exercise. Where and under which circumstances was I born?
- Who is my family?
- How has my life been so far?
- How have my love relationships been so far?
- How is my character and personality?
- What are my hobbies?
- How do I see myself in 10 or 20 years?
- What are my dreams? 2. Why it is important to know yourself The reason why you need to know yourself very well
before looking for love or increase your dates is because you need to evaluate your compatibility with the other person.
If you love art and museums but your boyfriend is only interested in baseball or football, he is probably not the one for you. If
your dream is to live in a Caribbean Island and go every day to the beach but you meet a woman who hates the sun and the ocean,
it is very likely that sooner or later you take different directions.
However, it is not a matter of finding a couple exactly like you, since you will not find him/her. What you should look for are
tastes, hobbies, characters, personalities and dreams that do not collide. The ideal would be that you two complement each other in
harmony and that each one walks along his/her own path without losing sight of the other. 3 . Appreciate yourself Once you know yourself in depth you have to learn to appreciate and love yourself. Nobody will appreciate you as much as
yourself. Appreciate everything about you: the way you are, the way you smile, the way you sing, the way you love. Only by
understanding that you are a unique and precious human being, you will be able to really care about others. Every person living on
this planet is beautiful and you are one of them.
I have an exercise for you. Take ten minutes in front of a mirror. Watch yourself really close. Try to understand how your fingers,
your arms, legs, eyes, nose and your brain work. Then imagine how it would be to live without any of them. I bet that after the
exercise you will appreciate yourself even more.
4. Appreciate everyone Now that you know your true value you have to be able to find every person’s value. And let me repeat something I just told you,
every human being is beautiful and unique. We are perfect creatures. If you try to understand how the human body works, you
will realize that it is one perfect machine. If you try to learn about the way your brain works, you will see that it is the most
amazing super computer ever created.
Take a moment to see the people around you, with their goodness and flaws. They are just like you, they are just like your mother
and father, like your husband or wife, like your children. You might think that we are all different but we are not. The only
difference is the way in which life has shaped the personalities. We are the sum of all our moments 5. Understand that everybody is different. Once you appreciate yourself and appreciate others, you will find out that every person is different and that is why in love matters
everybody behaves in different ways.
If you used in the past a seduction technique that turned out well, it does not mean that it will always work. Remember that every
personality is different and for each one of them you need a different approach. For example, althought being straightforward work
most of the times, some shy people can find it intimidating.
That is why before trying to seduce somebody you must identify his/her personality and personal qualities in order to have a good
strategy and a correct approach 6. Know what love is. The definition for love is not easy. Every culture in history has had
a different definition for the word but I will try to give a very
wide one.
Love is a deep feeling of affection for someone else. Love usually
comes along with affection, respect, admiration and a constant need
to be close to the one you love. Also – this is very important- love
comes in both ways. You can not be in love of someone who does
not even know you exist. That is most likely to be an obsession but
it is not love for sure.
Love is both a psychological and chemical process. It all begins with
lust. Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating
and involves the release of chemicals such as testosterone and
estrogen. Then comes the attraction. Attraction is the more
individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate. In the
attraction process, the brain releases many chemicals which causes effects like loss of sleep and appetite and an intense feeling of
excitement. For many scholars this stage last no more than 3 years.
After the lust and attraction stages comes the attachment. Attachment is the bond that allows the relationships last for decades. The
attachment is reached with the sum of variables such as marriage, children,friendship and common interests.
This lead us to our first premise. If you are looking for someone to love try also to find a very good friend. That friendship creates a
very solid and lasting relationship.
7. Know what love is not
Now that you know what love is, you will identify easily what love is not. Your are not in love if the other person does not even want
to talk to you. You might be attracted to someone but that is not love.
If you meet a very beautiful girl or a very interesting man, you will probably be attracted but you will definitely not be in love.
Learn to identify the different stages and learn to control your feelings. In that way you will find love a lot easier and you will protect
yourself from a lot of unnecessary trouble.
8. Identify the type of person you like
At this point you have to know exactly who you are. Now you will have to find out what is the kind of personality and type of person
that you like. This might seem very simple, but an often mistake is to go out just with the wrong kind of people.
Make a list with the specific personality that you would enjoy and love in someone and try to date the people that match your list. If
you are the kind of people that love sports, then do not go out with someone that hates sports. It is as simple as that.
In the end the most important is that the person that you choose respect you just the way you are and loves everything about you, the
good and the bad.
9. Identify the kind of relationship that you want
This is really important. Before going out with anybody, be clear of your objectives. Make up your mind if you just want to have fun,
a relationship or marriage. Once you know what you want, tell the other person about it. In that way both will know what it is all going
to be about.
Let me give you another advice: Do not lie. Eventually the other person will find out that you were lying and things will get ugly.
10. Know the facts
If you think dating is hard, let me bring the headlines to you, finding your true love is even harder. Be ready. You will probably get to
know a lot of people. Many of them will become your friends. But your true love is not going to be waiting for you right outside your
door. You will probably have to kiss a lot of frogs to get your prince or princess, but I sure hope that these tips can eventually make
you kiss less frogs. 11. What men want It all comes down to this question. First let me remind you that
everybody is different. In that order every man wants something
different according to his personality. However, there are a few
things that most men –not all of them- look for in a woman:
- External beauty: It is undeniable. For most men the appearance is
very important. If you want to have the attention of a lot of men try
to look pretty. Now do not worry, you do not have to look like a
model to find love. Women do not know this but they will be
amazed if they only knew how many guys think that the important
thing is the personality. If a guy wants a one night stand he will go
for the model, but if he is looking for love and a relationship he will
go somewhere else. Nevertheless, try to look gorgeous, you will
score extra points.
- Be a woman. Men like women that look like women. If you are polite, delicate and behave like a charming princess, you will be more
appealing for men. Most men do not like women that are drunk all the time, get dressed like men, burp and curse.
- Be smart and funny. Whether you believe it or not this is a fact. Men like someone they can talk to and laugh with. Again if they are
just looking for a one night stand they will not mind this.
- Some extra points: If you get a good education, a good job and you stand out at something you will have additional points with guys.
12. What women want
Women are a lot more complex than man. Each one is unique. Nevertheless as men, the are a few characteristics that most women
really appreciate:
- Looks are not that important: To women what is really important is the personality. If as a guy you can get in touch with your
feelings you`ll start scoring points.
- A nice dress: The physical aspect that women admire the most is the way you dress. If you dress nicely and use a really cool
cologne you`ll get extra points.
- Smart and funny: Women love an smart, hard working guy. If you also have a really good sense of humor and you make
women laugh, you`ll rule.
- Be responsible: You have to take care of yourself. If you are 35 and you`ll still live in the basement you won`t be a girls magnet.
Find a room mate and rent an small apartment. Get a job. Take care of your own life.
- Stand out at something: Women like successful men. Just like that. Be a successful business man, football player, a successful
medic, and so on.
13. Make a plan.
Once you know who you are and what you are looking for, finding love is going to be a lot easier. The next step is to write down your
plan with all the necessary elements. Make sure you write all the specific details of your personality and how would be the person of
your dreams. Make sure that the kind of person you have selected complement in harmony with your personality. After you write
exactly what you want, keep the paper in a secret place just for you and take a look again every time you need to remember the kind
of person you are looking in your life. 14. Location, location, location
Now that you know exactly the kind of person that you want you have to select the most relevant places to meet the kind of people
that you are looking for. For instance if you want to meet a guy who loves art, it is most likely that you can find one in a museum or
an art gallery. Or if you want to meet a girl who enjoys to work out you will probably find one at the gym. Select the places carefully.
If you do not, you can end up meeting new people, but just the wrong kind of people.
Over the next pages I will give you a list of common places where you can meet new people.
15. Parks
No matter where you live, you will always have a park close by. Go take a walk with your pet around the park and talk to the people
you see. If you enjoy riding a bike or skating, go to the park. You can also just go to seat on a bench and listen to your ipod, I bet that
you will have chances to meet new people. Now I am going to tell you something really important. When you go to any place do not expect to find right away your true love.
Sometimes love can be hidden. For example, do not you think that the old man that you see everyday in the park, can have a son or a
daughter that is the perfect match for you? Go find out. The more you increase your social network the fastest you will find love. 16. Nightclubs The nightclubs and bars continue to be some of the best places to
find love. Go with a couple of friends, have a drink if you feel like it
and just talk to the kind of person that you feel most compatible.
The atmosphere in these places set up the right mood to meet new
people.
A very common question is how to approach to someone you do not
know. It is actually a lot easier than you think. Just walk confident
and say “Hi, How are you?”, if you get a polite answer just introduce
yourself. I guarantee you that this will work 90 percent of the times.
Do not panic if you do not get the answer that you expected.
Remember that everybody is different and perhaps the person was
in a bad mood or it is simply not interested in meeting new people.
I am sure that most of the people that you know in that way will admire you and appreciate you for taking the first step.
17. Museums
These are great places to meet new people. Besides, they give you ways to approach easily to somebody. If you see someone that you
like watching a painting, just go over there and say “It is a beautiful painting, isn’t it?”. If you get a nice answer, introduce yourself and
that’s it. You can use the same approach to someone watching a sculpture or any other item, and not just in a museum but also in art
galleries, architecture expositions and others.
18. Zoos
The zoos are also really good places and people hanging there are usually very relax and easy to approach. You can use a similar
approach as the one you use in museums, just go near the person you are interested and say something like “That is an ugly snake”. It
is very likely that you will end up talking to that person. 19. Concerts Any kind of concert is a perfect place to meet new people. Gather a few of your friends and go. You will see that no matter what you
will end up talking to the people around you. Now act strategically. If you see someone interesting right from the beginning, go with
your friends and sit right next to that person. In the middle of the concert you will have plenty of opportunities to talk. Make sure that
you go to the kind of concerts that you like. In that way you will end up meeting somebody with a similar musical taste.
20. Go to a football, basketball, baseball or any other game
Other nice place to meet people is in a game. Any kind of game would do the trick. Just find a nice sport and go with a couple of
friends. You will not just have a very good time but you will probably meet someone to love. 21. Schools and colleges Any classroom is an excellent place to meet people. It does not
have to be college. You can also go to cooking lessons, another
language lessons, music lessons or others. You can be learning
and finding your love simultaneously.
22. Malls
Malls are one of the best places to meet people. Usually there are
hundreds of people shopping and looking for a good time. Besides,
you can use a very effective approach. You can just walk into the
store, ask for an item and start a conversation with the one you are
interested.
23. Anyplace is a good place
The examples that I just gave you are just a few of the places that you can use to meet new people and to find love.
In the end, anyplace is a good place. You can meet new people at church, at theater, at the opera, in a casino, in an airplane, at the
gym, in a bus, in a metro, an so on.
The really important thing is that you know what you are looking for. 24. Get introduced by someone else
You do not always have to go by yourself to meet new people. You have friends and relatives. Well, it is time to ask for a favor. Let
them know that you are interested in meeting new people. Every single person that you know has relatives and friends. Do not be
afraid and ask them to be introduced. You never know. Love could be a lot closer than you think.
25. Go online to find your love
Internet is changing the world we are living in. Now you do not have to use it only for your homeworks or for work. You can also use
it to find love. There are tons of dating websites all over. Everyday more and more people are using the net for dating. Give it a shot,
perhaps it is worth it. 26. Get ready before you go out.Now that you know what kind of person you are looking for and
where to look, you have to go out and find the one to love. But
before that, you have to get ready. If you are a man you should
probably dress nicely (women love it) and use a nice cologne. Try
also to look confident, calm and in a very good mood.
If you are a woman, you should also dress nicely, get your hair done
and use the right make up for you. Beware not to dress way too
sexy. You want men interested in you not only by your looks.
27. Go for it.
Once you have everything clear, go for it. Get ready, go to the
places that you selected and talk to the people that seem to be
interesting. Call your friends and relatives right now. If you just sit and wait nothing will ever happen. You have to take action.
28. How to approach someone
It`s actually a lot easier than it looks. The best approach for both men and women is the direct approach. If you see someone
interesting, you find a way, an excuse, to make a conversation. After you take the first step it`s all really easy. Just introduce yourself
and then get the number. We already saw some specific examples in previous pages, but it`s always the same situation. You are in a
specific location and you see someone. Find a nice excuse to talk to that person according to the place where you are at. And if get a
nice sign or a nice answer from the person you approach, just introduce yourself. 29. Get the numbers
Once you finally manage to talk to the person you are interested in, you have to move fast. Make sure you get the name and the phone
number. You will be amazed how many people get in touch with someone they are interested in but then panic, and forget to ask for
something as simple as a phone number. In many cases if you let the person goes, you will not have another chance to get a number.
30. Use the numbers
The phone numbers that you get are not to store them. Use them. When you are calling someone that you are really interested in,
make sure you remain cool. You can not be afraid, the other person will know that you are. You just have to call, say hi and ask the
person out.
Something else, do not sit and wait for hours before making the phone call. Do not over think this. Just take a deep breath, grab de
phone and make the call. 31. Dating If you feel that you want to ask somebody on a date just do it.
Likewise the phone call, do not over think this. If you want to do it,
just do it.
There is a very wide selection of places to ask somebody out. You
can take someone out to dinner, to the movies, to a game, to a
concert and so on. It all depends on the personality of the one you
are going out with. Make sure you pick a place where the other feels
comfortable. Doing so guarantee that the other will be happy and
relax and so will you.
32. Not too fast, not too slow
On your first date with someone make sure you do not go too fast or too slow. If you feel really attracted to the other just tell him/her.
If you feel like telling the girl that she has beautiful eyes, tell her. If you feel like telling a guy anything at all just do it.
Nevertheless beware of moving way too fast. If you are a woman make sure that you do not kiss on the first date. Make him wait a
little bit. In that way you will be sure he is really interested. If you kiss him you will look not so serious. If you are a man do not try to
get her into bed on the first date. She will think that you are just looking for a one night stand and she will not go out with you again.
Every specific case is different, just make sure that you do not go too fast or way too slow. Both roads lead to a lonely road.
33. The first kiss
The first kiss is probably the most important kiss that you will give to the one you love. It is a big deal. An ideal first kiss would be
passionate. Not too long, 15 to 20 seconds should do the trick. But more important is that you feel it. If you give all your heart and
your soul, the other would also probably think that it was an amazing first kiss.
34. Once you find love, do not let it go
In the next pages you will find secrets to keep the one you love. Even though finding love is the most difficult aspect of this process,
keeping the one you love is also challenging. The main enemy for the relationships is the routine. You have to fight it with everything
you can. Even the most beautiful relationship can be broken by the routine. It is up to you to do something about it.
In the next pages you`ll find a few tricks to fight the routine.
35. Say I love you
There is not a single most powerful phrase. Use it constantly. Do not be afraid to say it. When you say this phrase with meaning you
can stop any fight, you can fix everything. 36. Kiss with passion. The perfect sign for affection is a kiss. Now if you kiss with passion
it becomes a lot more powerful. Unexpected kisses in unexpected
places can definitely fight the routine.
37. A nice hug
This is also a powerful sign of physical affection. Use it with the one
you love. A nice hug can mean a lot more than any words.
38. Hold hands
At the beginning of the relationships the lovers hold hands all the
time. When months and years go by, holding hands get lost. If you
do not want your love to die, hold the hands of the one you love
when you are walking in the streets, when you are going through
the park or when you are just sitting watching TV.
39. Find the secret spots
Every person has very specific points on the body that are extremely sensitive. Find those spots and use them. Kiss them. Give them all
your love. Your love partner would really appreciate that. Some common spots are the ears, the neck and the back. Try them.
40. The good old fashion massage
A good massage never fails. Give your partner a loving massage once in a while and the love will remain for many years. Try to use
some lotion and take as long as you need to please the one you love. 41. Commitment If you want an ever lasting relationship you have to show
commitment. If you really believe that the two of you will be
together forever the other will believe it too. A commitment
involves respect for the other and love at all moments.
42. Share
In order to fight the routine and have an ever lasting relationship,
you will have to share a lot. Share with the one you love, little
secrets, little details, spaces and memories. This will spice up the
relationship.
43. Passion
We have repeated constantly this word on the guide, but let’s say it one more time. You need to put passion in your relationship. Kiss
with passion, hug with passion, make love with passion. Live a passionate live and your relationship will vibrate with emotion.
44. Take a bath together
Taking a bath together or a Jacuzzi together is one of the sexiest stuff that you can do. This will definitely break the routine and will
put some fire into your relationship. Go away for a weekend to a beautiful hotel with the want you love and I guarantee you that you
will give to your relation a fresh new air.
45. Leave a small note
The little details are the ones that make love exist. Something as simple as a little note on the fridge saying “I Love You” can have an
incredible effect. You could also call the person you love and with saying something as simple as “I miss you”, you definitely break the
routine. 46. Write a short text message or email The cell phones and smart phones allow us to stay in touch with
anybody at all times. If the person you love is attending class or
working you can give a nice surprise by sending a short email or
text message.
47. A dessert
A delicious cake or ice cream can be a good weapon to fight the
routine. Buy one and eat it with you lover. You get to share
something delicious and stimulating. You can also try kissing
while you eat the dessert.
48. Gifts
Receiving a gift is something that we all enjoy. Try to give to the one you love a small gift every now and then. It does not have to be
something expensive. A small flower or a little chocolate can do it for you.
49. Try new activities
To save a relationship from the routine you have to try new activities as often as you can. Learn a new sport with the one you love,
travel together and see different cultures around the globe, go to the movies, concerts and plays. Try always something new and
exciting.
50. Finally
This is the first edition of the guide “50 Secrets To Find Love”. It will be improved as time goes by. Feel free to send us new ideas or
thoughts for further editions.
For now all I can say to you is that I wish you the best of lucks. I hope this step by step guide help you to find love. If you already
found him/her and you have the lucky to be with the person you love keep him/her and do not go around looking for somebody else.
What you have is precious.
